Many students have traveled similar roads to their places in the LGBT community. There has always been debate over the issue of “nature versus nurture” dealing with homosexuality. Some people believe that being gay is not an individual’s choice, but rather a biological occurrence, like being born with red hair or brown eyes. Others insist that homosexuality is a result of how an individual is raised. Jasmine McGill, a sophomore nursing major from Prince George County, Md., said she first realized she was attracted to girls in elementary school, although she didn’t come out until her junior year of high school. “I told my closest friends that I was talking to my then girlfriend and from there the whole, ‘I'm gay’ thing happened,” she said. “Over that summer I became more open about it. My friends’ reactions differed. Some knew. Some were shocked. Some thought it was a phase because, ‘I could get a guy if I wanted’ or ‘I was too cute to be gay.’ Out of my friends, that was probably the worst reaction that I heard.”
Je’Taughn Burrell, a senior marketing major from Largo, Md., said, “I felt like I’ve always been attracted to girls. I just never woke up and was like, ‘I’m attracted to females.’ I always had that low-key attraction, and as I grew older I started to embrace it and then I acted on it.” She had dated multiple guys in the past, and had her first girlfriend when she was in her sophomore year of high school.
And still some have not yet fully traveled the length of that road. Alain Lucas, a senior communicative sciences and disorders major from Miramar, Fla., says he has always known he was gay, and has never officially came out to anyone. “I never really came out to anyone,” he said. “It was just a concrete ‘yes’ or ‘no’ if someone would ask me. Nobody cared and I didn’t care to tell anyone.” Regarding his family’s opinion on the matter, he said, “My family, I think ultimately they would want me to be happy. But I haven’t really brought anyone around my family. That is probably when I will come out to them.”
Burrell has also yet to officially come out to her parents. I haven’t come out to my family, and my friends still accept me and love me for who I am. “My family is very religious,” she said. “I have an aunt that knows and she’s like the only person that I ever told in my family, and my grandma has also hinted. I tried to come out to my mother and father twice but that didn’t work out so I left it alone.”
McGill didn’t receive the opportunity to tell her family. Her mother found out from other people that she was dating girls. “After senior year and no boyfriends or any male interest, we discussed my sexual orientation,” she said. “This was probably the most awkward talk of my life. My mom doesn't like that I am gay. However, she loves me so she does not accept it but she tolerates my lifestyle. She is a lot more worried about other people's perception of me and my safety. My grandmother has only commented on my orientation once. ‘Be safe and be myself don't be a stereotype,’ was the only thing she said.”
College is known as a time to experiment, and many students have done such since arriving. Others prefer not to put labels on their sexuality, and instead choose to focus on the individual attraction in relationships, regardless of gender. Catherine Anstead, a senior interdisciplinary studies major from Chesapeake, Va., falls under that category. Anstead met Burrell through her roommate, who was hanging out with Burrell at their apartment one night when Anstead came home from work. Being her first relationship with a girl, she doesn’t consider herself to be gay; the person whom she wants to be with just happens to be female. “I often notice people staring or taking a second glance when they see us holding hands walking around the campus because they aren’t used to seeing me with another female in that way,” Anstead says. “It doesn’t bother me one bit because I honestly don’t care what people think or have to say about our relationship. She’s perfect for me.”
Anthony Hayes, a sophomore psychology major from Richmond, Va., has a similar story. Hayes first realized he was bisexual when he was 16. The first person he came out to was his older brother, who is gay and married. Attracted to both males and females, he has very lax views on sexuality and doesn’t believe people should be so judgmental. “I just want people to understand at the end of the day we are still human,” he said. “All people who respect me, I respect them and people who don’t I could care less. It’s not right to judge anybody.”
Stereotypically, the African-American community tends to be very church-oriented, which many believe results in the community being less accepting of homosexuality.
“Homosexuality in the black community is hard, especially for men. Church in particular is the toughest place for an African-American homosexual to be accepted,” said McGill. “The black community still has a hard time accepting interracial couples so accepting same sex relationships is a giant step.”
According to students, the gay community at HU needs to be just that: a community. “I feel like a lot of gay people here hate on each other for no reason, it’s a lot of hostility,” said Burrell. “It’s more hostility among the gays than there is between the straights and the gays.” Hayes agrees. Adam Lee Navarro, a freshman interdisciplinary studies major from Newport News, Va., expresses hopes for an organized club for gay students.
Times are changing. Most students say they haven’t faced any blatant prejudice at school against them for their sexual orientation. Navarro said, “Most of my friends are girls around campus, and I feel they are more than accepting of me. Though I do feel uncomfortable around males on campus so I am unaware if they accept me or not. And I have always been comfortable with being openly gay, I feel that if I remain open and happy that maybe someone else will get the courage to do the same.”
*This was an article published in Hampton University's student newspaper, The Hampton Script.
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